Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. “
Some days are hard to forget. It was a day at Lake Pleasant, clear skies, the weather was perfect, it was right before summer heat began in Arizona. Our drive to the lake is gorgeous, within minutes we are out in the open surrounded by endless valleys and hills, farms, and giant cacti everywhere. Because it was the first time my son came along we gave him the honor to ride on my pink inflatable paddleboard. My daughter Rebekah and I sat on our lounge chairs after swimming for a little while, we drank coconut water as we had our chin up to the ski, cheerfully bathing with the sun. When we got home I immediately changed clothes took a lightning shower and rushed to my appointment for a second mammogram and ultrasound ordered by my doctor because the original was incomplete. I made it just in time, the mammogram was as the ones before only this time the technician made me wait what seemed an eternity in a hallway chair as she typed her report and send it to my doctor. Proceeded to the ultrasound and at the end, the same ultrasound technician met me outside the lobby, she had an apologetic frown and said “sorry, there is an abnormality in your test results, please seek immediate advice from your doctor”. I didn’t believe her, I couldn’t, I didn’t want to hear more, I picked up the package she handed me and quickly walked out of the lobby to meet my husband and daughter who surprised me to be there waiting for me. The days and weeks ahead became a blur.
Our lives have no longer been the same since that day. It’s been 3 months, I’ve had several biopsies, a single mastectomy, part 1 of reconstruction surgery, port surgery, refilling of extender, 4 chemo treatments, and 8 more to go. Thankful for the love and kindness from family and friends, the Lord and their love sustain me. I have found the power to not look back and keep moving forward, guided by His small voice, healed by his grace, and carried by His hands.
I have worried enough, now it’s time to trust, I have labored and tried my best, now it’s time to rest in The Lord, I have tried to do many things now it’s time to let go and let God. Now it’s time to pray more, to think of good things more, to be encouraged more, and the hardest thing, to allow others to love me more and do all the things I can’t and should not do while recuperating.
